Nov. 5, 2021
A friend of mine asked if she could give some unsolicited advice about signing up for a benefit I was looking into.
She apologized and asked if I wanted the advice, since unsolicited - I laughed as I realized that she did not have a sibling and was not used to giving unsolicited advice without asking if it was OK. I have two sisters, so giving and getting unsolicited advice is what I was brought up with from both my sisters and parents.
Advice is part of sibling relationships: sometimes it can be annoying, but most times it is done with a genuine concern for the sibling. Examples of “just normal” sister advice for me have been , "I don't like that dress, wear the blue one.” “Cut your hair, it looks better shorter.” “Don't go to that party.” and “You’re seeing who??"
In close families there is a feeling of not wanting to cause pain with the advice, but a need to give the advice at times. I also love to ask for advice and, even with this blog, I asked for my son's advice, as I admire his talent on the computer.
Of course, sometimes the advice is ignored or stored away in the recipients brain to be thought about later. Sometimes, the advice is taken, whether it be about finances, love, feelings, or a million other topics. I do not like when advice is given to hurt the person intentionally or to prove a point, but sometimes the advice helps, even if it’s hard to hear. Sometimes the advised person just shakes their head and smiles at the advice thinking, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe they are suggesting that".
So....I did get lots of unsolicited advice from my friend on benefits - it was great, and it helped me realize that most siblings and many parents are just wired to give advice, and like giving it. Once you have close friends , even if you don't have siblings, sometimes through the years you give and take advice from them. I like to call them “siblings of the heart”.
My Unsolicited advice to you, reader, is this: Have a very warm and wonderful holiday season. Be kind. And whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, or any other holidays, may there be PEACE in your life and the world.
